~=A Leather Invitation=~
by Lady Elsa. Inspired by and adapted from "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me how many floggers you own,
or what famous whipmaker crafted them.
I want to know what you feel as you use them, or as they are used on you,
and whether you consider the person on the other end as that happens.
It doesn't interest me how many years of experience you've had
I want to know whether that time was spent
in the service of something grander than your own agenda.
It doesn't interest me how many slaves you've had,
or what rules you imposed on them.
I want to know whether being under your control made them better people,
and what you learned from their service to you.
It doesn't interest me what events you've attended,
or what club offices you have held.
I want to know whether you can be counted on
to help tear down a dungeon at 3 a.m.,
and whether you'll miss a great workshop
because you're talking with a frightened newcomer in the lobby
It doesn't interest me how much leather you wear,
or the ceremonies or people you got it from
I want to know if what you are wearing makes you feel alive and real,
and whether the spirit of your tribe flows through you as you wear it.
I want to know if you can wrap up a sobbing, naked body in your arms,
of any size and gender, and sit in silent support
as they move through the dark passageways of the mind
that lead to their liberation.
I want to know if you can see beauty
in the practice of a fetish different from your own
and find and feel the humanness in that experience.
It doesn't interest me what type of genitals you have,
Or what types of bodies turn you on.
I want to know if you are of my tribe,
my people, my values,
my blood, my heart.
*Reprinted with permission of Lady Elsa. Original posting on FetLife here*
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Mutual Respect (by Meadow Theas)
In all our marvelous diversity, what we have in common is power exchange relationships.
Power exchange can be expressed by any action. The action that expresses the exchange of power is like the celery that carries the cream cheese. It’s a vehicle, neutral in itself, charged only by the fact that one person commands and the other obeys.
And power exchange itself doesn’t get us a pervert label. It’s part of the mainstream in intimate relationships. Consider “traditional marriage.” The difference, and the thing that gets us considered perverted, is the diversity of our expression and the fact that we choose it rather than allowing our culture to dictate it. Kink is part of that controversial diversity.
Despite all this, we perpetuate our own oppression by carrying social stereotypes into our D/s. Gender roles are a prime example. There’s no reason why doing the dishes should be either a female or a submissive task . . . yet I observe a strong trend towards assuming that subs/slaves are female and that their submission is expressed in domestic service. And I suspect that many of the problems Dommes and male subs face are based in vanilla gender expectations.
And we generate our own stereotypes and labels from within as well, thereby generating both misunderstanding and disrespect. Examples are myriad, ranging from relationship assumptions to the nature and capabilities of people based on whether they’re Dominant or submissive. I can’t tell you how discouraging it is to feel myself facing, as a submissive in my theoretically revolutionary community, a similar set of limiting stereotypes to what I face as a woman in the vanilla world.
So here we are, wanting community, sharing a deeply primal human experience, yet united primarily by our diversity. How can we talk to each other, learn from each other, when each of our relationships has its own vocabulary? Even the word “submission” is defined differently by different people, and each definition describes a valid experience.
I would argue that “education” is something to be approached with care. It’s human to want validation and reassurance that we’re succeeding in the dynamic we’re creating. However, creation is individual. As Marge Piercy said about writing:
“The reason people want M.F.A.'s,
take workshops with fancy names
when all you can really
learn is a few techniques,
typing instructions and some-
body else's mannerisms
is that every artist lacks
a license to hang on the wall . . .”
In M/s and D/s, what classes can offer us is techniques and somebody else’s preferences.
What we each bring to the table is ourselves. Our own experience, our own priorities and choices, our thoughts on what is right for us. Not for our neighbors. And we can bring open ears for the lives of others. I believe that if we could listen to each other’s lives without feeling a direct or implied pressure to be like them, if we could take what’s right for us while respectfully leaving the rest, if we could act towards each other based on understanding and acceptance of each other’s individual preferences, we could learn more and do less damage to ourselves and others.
To my mind, what power exchange relationships offer us is a chance to live one of the most demanding spiritual tenets I know of: the Wiccan Rede. “And it harm none, do as you will.”
Thanks for reading.
Meadow
Ryn’s kajira
Power exchange can be expressed by any action. The action that expresses the exchange of power is like the celery that carries the cream cheese. It’s a vehicle, neutral in itself, charged only by the fact that one person commands and the other obeys.
And power exchange itself doesn’t get us a pervert label. It’s part of the mainstream in intimate relationships. Consider “traditional marriage.” The difference, and the thing that gets us considered perverted, is the diversity of our expression and the fact that we choose it rather than allowing our culture to dictate it. Kink is part of that controversial diversity.
Despite all this, we perpetuate our own oppression by carrying social stereotypes into our D/s. Gender roles are a prime example. There’s no reason why doing the dishes should be either a female or a submissive task . . . yet I observe a strong trend towards assuming that subs/slaves are female and that their submission is expressed in domestic service. And I suspect that many of the problems Dommes and male subs face are based in vanilla gender expectations.
And we generate our own stereotypes and labels from within as well, thereby generating both misunderstanding and disrespect. Examples are myriad, ranging from relationship assumptions to the nature and capabilities of people based on whether they’re Dominant or submissive. I can’t tell you how discouraging it is to feel myself facing, as a submissive in my theoretically revolutionary community, a similar set of limiting stereotypes to what I face as a woman in the vanilla world.
So here we are, wanting community, sharing a deeply primal human experience, yet united primarily by our diversity. How can we talk to each other, learn from each other, when each of our relationships has its own vocabulary? Even the word “submission” is defined differently by different people, and each definition describes a valid experience.
I would argue that “education” is something to be approached with care. It’s human to want validation and reassurance that we’re succeeding in the dynamic we’re creating. However, creation is individual. As Marge Piercy said about writing:
“The reason people want M.F.A.'s,
take workshops with fancy names
when all you can really
learn is a few techniques,
typing instructions and some-
body else's mannerisms
is that every artist lacks
a license to hang on the wall . . .”
In M/s and D/s, what classes can offer us is techniques and somebody else’s preferences.
What we each bring to the table is ourselves. Our own experience, our own priorities and choices, our thoughts on what is right for us. Not for our neighbors. And we can bring open ears for the lives of others. I believe that if we could listen to each other’s lives without feeling a direct or implied pressure to be like them, if we could take what’s right for us while respectfully leaving the rest, if we could act towards each other based on understanding and acceptance of each other’s individual preferences, we could learn more and do less damage to ourselves and others.
To my mind, what power exchange relationships offer us is a chance to live one of the most demanding spiritual tenets I know of: the Wiccan Rede. “And it harm none, do as you will.”
Thanks for reading.
Meadow
Ryn’s kajira
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Fallen Angels Real Life Viewer RLV with Eldric Westland
Due to popular demand, we'll hold again our "RLV for absolute beginners" 1-hour workshop in Fallen tonight. If you missed it last time, here's your chance to come and learn the basics about it, dispel some myths and see how it can be used to positively enhance your SL practice of BDSM. Everyone welcome, voice/text. Hosted by Eldric Westland at Fallen Angels BDSM Club and Dungeon.
Dom/me Nation Meeting at Solace of Submission
Tonight's topic hosted by Miss Paine is: "Training Ideas and Concepts" Part II at Solace of Submission Come on my fellow Dominants, come share how you work your special brand of magic with your slave or submissive. No I'm not talking about sex! I'm talking about the "C" word, Conditioning.
Tonight's focus is on - Conditioning and Behavior Modification.
What are some specific conditioning requirements that are an absolute must have for your s type?
Come join us for this interesting topic.
Dominants only please
Furry Creek Inn, Sex Talk with Aubrey Composer
Aubrey Composer: FCI Sex Talk ~5pm SLT~ The triumphant return of Sex Talk tonight 5pm to 7pm SLT. Join Aubrey Composer as we go back to basics and define fetishes, kinks, and the like in a (hopefully) engaging way in an inclusive environment Furry Creek Inn hosts events every 2 weeks. Stay tuned to the google calendar link on this page to attend courses of your interest.
Empowered Submisses with silk.arcana "Awakenings"
Awakening
• 10:00 am slt
• Silk Arcana
• Discussion Opened to Everyone
What were your first stirrings of BDSM? How did they manifest ..or not ? How has it affected you in RL and SL ? **Please have voice enabled**
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Dominus Academy with Darius Aldrin "Limits"
Fireside Discussion hosted at 8pm at Dominus Slave Academy
Tuesday 8pm: Fireside Discussion- Join us tonight at Dominus as we discuss-Setting limits before a collar.This discussion will be held in text only, and everyone is welcome to join. Dominus is a safe, drama free BDSM sim. With Darius Aldrin as host.
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