Sharing: How you Care or What You Bare by cypher Reverie

I've found that many SL lifestylers like myself are also involved in FL relationships and marriage, seperate from their experiences on the grid. As I contemplated my own SL relationship recently, I reflected on why we are sometimes able to accept shared relationships when we understand our partner is married, secretly... but unwilling to accept an open relationship where sharing known amongst the participants might allow deeper connections with one another. Perhaps respect for a RL partner is more an understood expectation to maintain the relationship, while in a multipartnered SL relationship it feels like sharing is negotiable since there is more room to insist that another person not be allowed within a couple's circle.

I think jealousy rears its head in all relationships in some form or another, siblings have "rivalry" friends often "compete" and perhaps these acts of seperation are a way of developing a false sense of self worth. There is also fear of lack we all experience... the sense that despite our living in an infinite universe, there will never be enough, that we are not enough, that our partner(s) don't have enough to share and somehow we will be left out, over looked or forgotten.

I wish I had a clear answer for managing those feelings. Some people have an easier time with it than others and I respect them, greatly for that. It seems selfish to expect exclusivity, but is it? Can you love more than one person at a time... I feel like I can and do.. I have two relationships, three children and a wealth of family and friends all whom I love deeply. Is that even the same thing? Does love have a limit? Do we have a predefined capacity to love each person? Is that why we feel more affection for some people than others?

I'll be attending the ACES discussions that address the topic of jealousy, anxious and curious to hear how others are answering these questions. I hope you'll join in a dialogue with me. Feel free to comment, I am a willing and open student! Let's "share" and learn together.

cy