Just the phrase "being put in your place" stirs up feelings of defensiveness. It can make a person feel attacked, and that their values and ideas are not valid.
But in the world of the submissive we DO have a place and from time to time need to be reminded of that fact. Our place is at our Dominants knee. Our place to is to do all we can to please and make our Dominant happy.
Unfortunately there come moments in a submissives life when they forget this place. The focus of a submissive should be the Dominant. Somehow in the effort however it is very easy for a submissive to turn the focus to them self. They become obsessed with the concept that the Dominant is responsible for making the submissive happy.
Since when?? At what point did that become the Dominants role? The Dominant's role is to help the submissive grow and learn and protect them as best He or She can. It is through this that They help improve the life of the submissive and help them build that happiness. BUT it is still the DOMINANT'S happiness that is the focus of the submissive.
It is NOT our place to tell the Dominant "i need more controls by you. You arn't demanding enough". The Dominant decides what needs to be improved. NOT the submissive. The submissive gave power for that decision to the Dominant when they took the collar. A submissive MAY ASK a Dominant if there is anything more that YOU think i need to learn? ..Or state "I am feeling insecure and would like a tighter restriction put on me to make me feel closer to You.
NEVER tell the Dominant that they are not "doing" enough. The point is for the submissve to do the doing. The moment a submissive starts a line of "what about me" they have lost their submission. It aint about you. When a submissive starts putting their own wants above the Dominant in her or his heart, they no longer value the Dominant. The Dominant takes a back seat to the vanity of the submissive.
When a submissive starts to demand what direction the Dominant takes in the relationship they take away the power of the Dominant. Focusing the attention away from the happiness of the Dominant is nothing short of selfish. Again it isnt about what the submissive wants. It is about what the Dominant decides is best for the submissive and what will please the Dominant.
At times a Dominant may give a task or command but not give exact direction. This is because it is the submissive who must complete this task themselves. Remember the Dominant is not there to hold your hand and micro control you through potty training and spoon feeding. They attempt to guide you into being a better person through goals and tasks. If a Dominant chooses to give vague control you may want to consider that you are expecting Him or Her to do too much and need to stand on your own a tad. Being a submissive is NOT being a helpless dependent. It is growing into a stronger more confidant person in order to be a stronger more confidant submissive. At some point in a diet goal the only one who should have to worry about it is you. You attain the goal when you can monitor what you put in your mouth yourself and are responsible for getting the gym without being hand held and told.
And finally what about your place in a poly/multi house? Keep in mind it is the DOMINANTS house. You were given the HONOR of being allowed in. If the Dominant decides to build a multi house it is the DOMINANTS decision to make. Certainly you can choose to leave if you feel uncomfortable. Just keep in mind that if you leave for that reason, it is because once again the focus is on you and not your Dominants happiness. My personal sub-stance: If a submissive decollars them self because they don't like the idea of a multi/poly house (or argues and complains to the Dominant) it is a selfish act based on the submissive self interest and not on the concept of serving the happiness of the Dominant.
We kneel and give power to the DOMINANT. We give all decisions and direction to THE DOMINANT. We place our focus on what makes THE DOMINANT happy. That is the place of a submissive. Anything less is vanilla. There is NO equal power in D/s or there would not be Dominants. The only time a Dominant should have to put you in your place..is when you are going overboard in serving or feeling insecure in the relationship. Then a Dominant might tell you to relax your guard or put you in chains in the bed to remind you that you are THEIRS. Otherwise...if you truly have submitted then you dont need to be told your place; you know it instinctivly.
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