Achieving Balance in TPE Relationships

Sir Zano Irata recently held a discussion on achieving balance in TPE relationships. The timing of this talk was especially important to me as Master and I work through the typical growing pains all relationships experience. Sir Zano suggested that prior to achieving true balance, both Dominant and submissive need a strong idea of their self worth. "It is impossible and unreasonable to expect the dominant to be perfect;" he stated and added, “there is no true TPE relationship where the power is all on one side. The capabilities and desires of the participants are vital. It is these and not some idealised vision that should drive the relationship."

Discussion participants engaged in a fruitful dialogue about the scales ever tipping on one side or the other of the relationship and each individual grows within it. "A “perfect” dominant and slave would be extremely boring," one participant offered, as the group explored the inevitability of human error and the importance of all parties being willing to accept accountability for their weaknesses and to work together to create routines and rituals that allow all to feel safe and supported. Sir Zano offered, "In a healthy D/s relationship, the dominant will be in control but will empower the submissive in certain areas. These areas will depend upon the talents of both..." As talents are encouraged and developed, these roles might be shared or even exchanged and the process can cause the relationship to lose equilibirum. The group seemed to agree that this is normal, however; the key is ongoing communication, commitment to overcoming the obstacles together and ongoing strengthening of trust.

Mountains only exist because of the valleys between them. It is impossible to have one without the other. Acceptance that change is a lifetime experience allows us to accept the valleys as a necessary obstacle to climb the mountaintop ahead and should inspire a deeper connection and understanding of one another. Inevitably the scales will tip from one side to the other, enjoying the equanimity at middle ground and using those times to adjust and evolve, allows our relationships to flower, grow and achieve harmony.

cypher Reverie-Ra