Yes i know. Thanks Giving is over. But maybe that is exactly why this is a good time to really think about gratitude. The hub of activity is past, the china washed and put away, and the big turkey reduced to a soup pot. Christmas is just around the corner but right now there is a chance to take a breath and reflect on the meanings of things like real gifts and gratitude.
The definition of a gift is something of value given freely without the expectation of anything in return. We already know submission itself is a gift. That for us as submissives our gift to our Dominant is our very being and is a gift (if given fully) that has more value than any dollar amount; our very life and breath. We offer ourselves in the service of the Dominant in the deepest hope that we can please them, be useful to them, and bring them happiness in being Dominant. We give this gift (hopefully) to the One we feel has earned the trust and respect from us necessary to kneel. When you really think about it, the most valued of gifts we give are only for those we truly DO feel trust and respect for. After all what is the point of giving a gift to someone we don't feel will appreciate its worth? This is why i stress over and over that submissives take their time and be certain when they give themselves. Don't give that gift until you are sure it will be respected.
Of course the next question is likely to be "but what of the Dominant's gift in return?" Well if you are expecting gifts in return then you have already lost the meaning of "gift". But then vanilla training has us programed to expect things in return. Unfortunately this mindset has created a generation of people with a sense of entitlement. If you buy your best friend a gift does that make it manditory they give one back? True gifts don't come with strings. The greatest gift back your friend can give is enjoying the gift you gave.
Thus is the point of a Dominant's gift. That They appreciate the gift of submission. The gifts of the Dominant are sadly often overlooked and unappreciated by the submissive. A Dominant gives care, time, guidence, fogiveness, protection, and many other gifts. All of this they give as they appreciate the submissive. Yet too often i have heard submissives complain these are not "enough". Yes it is easy to expect more once these things are given but once it is expected ..its not a gift. Even worse are the "compairson shoppers". The ones who compair what the Dominant gives them to what is given to others. "He gives her more time" or "She cares more about my siblings problems than mine". These concepts only make us sound like spoiled children competing for attention.
Its not about competition or entitlement. Its about being grateful for the gift. If your Dominant spends time with you...cherish that time. If your Dominant gives you direction or correction...listen and try to learn from it. Realize that when a Dominant gives these things, He or She is appreciating your gift of submission..and giving back by BEING Dominant. Understand that they give these things because they do respect your gift and not because they "owe" it to you. And whatever they give to other people has nothing to do with the value of the gifts they give to you. A gift only has value if the person who receives it truly appreciates it. If my RL collar had been a macaroni necklace i would have loved it just as much because its not the object itself that mattered..but the spirit and love behind Master giving it to me that mattered.
The only time a gift like this should be questioned is if it is not appreciated at all. A Dominant that does not appreciate the submissive will not give any time or effort. Thus the gift of submission was given to someone who really didnt want it. Sort of like giving someone a very expensive coat for christmas and they never wear it. Maybe it doesnt fit, or maybe they already have enough..they thank you for it and maybe even feel a little bad but they just dont want it. You cant demand they wear it...or give it back. Nor can you expect them to give you one in return or repay you for it. You have to simply accept the gift was not appreciated and make better choices next time.
But if the coat is worn with a smile, even just a few times during the season, treasure its worth and take joy from knowing it is cherished.
**Dedicated to Master: I see every day in the little things You do how much You love and cherish me. Your love and care of me means more then i have words for. Thank You Master..with all my heart.
