Thursday, October 28, 2010

Fallen Angels is a club and education platform. It does not charge any fee to participate in the group. They represent BDSM by hosting events on discussions and social events as well. The group only allows people/avatars who are age verified as adults. They cater to both submission and Dominance in the Lifestyle.

Contact person: Cat Sadayappan
In world location: Fallen Angels

Their guidelines are as followed:

As the events at Fallen increase, I feel there is a need to clarify the different types of events we host, their purpose and who can attend. But first let me define some terms so we are all speaking the same language.

SOCIAL: for the purpose of socializing (duh), hanging out, dancing
EDUCATIONAL: for the purpose of learning, teaching, sharing, debating INFORMATION about BDSM in RL and SL(can also be social!)
SUBS: bottoms, subs, slaves and switches
DOMS: Tops, Dominants, Masters, Mistresses, Doms, Dommes
OBSERVER: someone in attendance but not participating

So here are the types of events we currently hold:

DANCES - social, open to everyone

DISCUSSION GROUPS - educational, while there is a host who guides the discussion, participation is encourage by all
- Fallen Discussion Group (Tuesday nights) open to everyone
- Sub Discussion Group (Monday nights) open to subs ONLY
- Dom Discussion Group (Friday nights) open to Doms ONLY

WORKSHOPS - educational, open to everyone unless otherwise specified, e.g Collars 101 is for submissive to learn how to use their collars but their Dominants may come as observers. Normally the host or instructor does the talking, with attendees asking or commented in a specified manner.

INTERVIEWS: (coming soon) educational, open to everyone, there will be a interviewer and an interviewee(s), but attendees may be given the opportunity to pose questions as well - these questions should NEVER include personal information such as RL location, pics, etc.

DEBATES: (coming soon) education, open to everyone unless otherwise specified. There will be a moderator and specified participants, attendees may be given the opportunity to ask questions or comment at the discretion of the moderator

*Regarding the exclusion of Dominants at Submissive Discussions and vice versa...
While it is true that honesty and transparency are key elements of D/s, we must remember the following
- that some of the topics we discuss are very personal and sometimes painful for people to discuss openly and we should offer them a safe and discreet environment in which to do so.
-that while you and your D/s partner probably share everything, we cannot and should not expect others to feel comfortable sharing their private details with a Dominant or submissive they are NOT in a relationship with

Please remember that transcripts are given out at the discretion of the event host and myself, BDSM Coordinator for Fallen Angels. All transcripts have names removed from them before they are given out.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Sharing: How you Care or What You Bare by cypher Reverie

I've found that many SL lifestylers like myself are also involved in FL relationships and marriage, seperate from their experiences on the grid. As I contemplated my own SL relationship recently, I reflected on why we are sometimes able to accept shared relationships when we understand our partner is married, secretly... but unwilling to accept an open relationship where sharing known amongst the participants might allow deeper connections with one another. Perhaps respect for a RL partner is more an understood expectation to maintain the relationship, while in a multipartnered SL relationship it feels like sharing is negotiable since there is more room to insist that another person not be allowed within a couple's circle.

I think jealousy rears its head in all relationships in some form or another, siblings have "rivalry" friends often "compete" and perhaps these acts of seperation are a way of developing a false sense of self worth. There is also fear of lack we all experience... the sense that despite our living in an infinite universe, there will never be enough, that we are not enough, that our partner(s) don't have enough to share and somehow we will be left out, over looked or forgotten.

I wish I had a clear answer for managing those feelings. Some people have an easier time with it than others and I respect them, greatly for that. It seems selfish to expect exclusivity, but is it? Can you love more than one person at a time... I feel like I can and do.. I have two relationships, three children and a wealth of family and friends all whom I love deeply. Is that even the same thing? Does love have a limit? Do we have a predefined capacity to love each person? Is that why we feel more affection for some people than others?

I'll be attending the ACES discussions that address the topic of jealousy, anxious and curious to hear how others are answering these questions. I hope you'll join in a dialogue with me. Feel free to comment, I am a willing and open student! Let's "share" and learn together.


How We Forget by cypher Reverie

I've attended many "submissive only" discussions and often I am so moved by the story of some women who have allowed themselves to be drawn into what sounds like abusive relationships with dim Dom/mes. They complain about how their limits are not respected and how fearful they are that if they talk openly about their complaints and fears, that they ill be released and lose their worshipped Master.

I ask myself and then THEM if they are clear about what it means to be in a D/s relationship and what they hope to gain from the experience. It's as though they have forgotten they have worth, and who they are. Representing myself as a proud submissive, I typically express openly an insistence that we remember a wo/man is only a Dom/me when S/He has a willing submissive (and vice versa). Power differential does not mean loss of common sense. I believe there is a misconception that "pain" is an essential aspect of being a good submissive/slave. There is a difference between pain for enjoyment, direction and control, and pain which results in fearfulness feeling worthless, and emotionally wounded. Although one might expect their Dom/me to bring some discomfort as S/ He is flowering Her/His beauty, that process should always be part of a loving, nurturing and supportive return.

Being a submissive does not equal being subhuman or a doormat. Offering your trust and commitment to serve is a GIFT and should always be received as such. We all need healthy boundaries to maintain our mental health and sanity and because each of us is an individual and no one is a mind reader, it's important that you be completely comfortable and confident in talking with your Dom/me about what your limits are, while being open to exploring things that might make you uncomfortable. Discomfort, however, should not intend to cause you lasting harm. A good Dom/me is entuned enough to understand what new horizons and fulfillment might be brought to your life and allow you to grow T/together and that process can be tremendously rewarding.

Trust what you feel in your heart, and allow it to guide you. If it feels like abuse, disrespect and/or dishonor... it probably is.


Introduction :)

Second Life has provided me an opportunity to explore aspects of myself not possible in my first life. Being able to be part of a community of like-minded, people in a setting where we each can be completely open and outwardly expressive of our inner desires is like a rebirth of the soul. Even better is the ability to be accepted fully as you are. Althogh not always without judgement, more often than not I have felt a sense of peace and accpetance in the D/s community of Adult Lifestylers in SL.

This experience has not been without its trials and tribulations and there have been times when I have been forced to reevaluate long held beliefs about myself and others. Never-the-less, I have grown more than I imagine I ever could have without these experiences, many of which would have taken years to encounter and process through in my first life.

I'd like to spend my time with you blogging about these very experiences. Discussing what I have learned as I live my second life, connecting via ACES classes, community events, and most importantly and impactful, my relationship and commitment to my Master Sir Oba Ra. Reflective thoughts, short stories/microfiction, poetry and pointers to/reviews of sites of interest are all forth coming.

Looking forward to this journey with you.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Jay Wiseman in SL

Of course the big event of the weekend was the interview of Jay Wiseman by Destiny Teardrop in Second Life. The sim filled up within minutes as predicted but was remarkably stable with only minimal chat lag despite the 80+ avatars in attendance.

Jay did not disappoint with a brief history of the world of BDSM according to Wiseman and an amazing Question and Answer session.

As with previous high profile lifestylers who have come to Second Life at the invitation of a resident, he was surprised at the BDSM community in SL. When I asked him about it, he said something to the effect that his jaw had dropped. So what are they so surprised at? The size of the community? 83 is the very teeny tip of the iceberg when it comes to the BDSM community in SL. The OpenCollar group in SL now boasts 76K members. Is it the fact that we are "serious" about the lifestyle? If so, that begs the question.... what were they expecting?

Well the good news is that after their surprise, these guests have recognized that SL is a legitimate BDSM community and have gone back to their RL communities to tell others of their findings. In many cases, their RL organizations have been convinced to give online communities such as Second Life recognition in their mission statements, etc. And Jay was no exception, vowing that he will be back to Second Life, and that he will recommend it to other educators as a viable venue for teaching safe and healthy BDSM.

I was a little disappointed that the attendees were mostly from one organization, with a sprinking of other group leaders who managed to tp in early. I would have liked to have seen a better representation of the diverse groups in SL but given the technical limitations, it was first come first sit.

All in all, a great event which will hopefully inspire even more great events in our very own community.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Everyone Has Something To Offer

Hello A.C.E.S.

In the next few weeks you will be seeing a few new ACES Journalists blogging for us here. We have asked each person to write a bit about themselves and the kinds of things they will be blogging about here. We are very excited to have these people who have a desire to share their experiences and opinions as they are related to the various workshops, classes, discussion groups, etc., that are offered throughout the ACES network.

If any of you would like to become a blogger for our ACES Community, please contact Jovial Denimore or JeZeBeLe Dagger for information.

If you would like to visit us in-world you can click here for teleport to our ACES Headquarters. You can also view our group page here. Finally, don't forget to view our ACES google calendar for the regularly scheduled classes.

Thank you everyone and welcome to our new ACES Journalists! We are very excited to have you!

Introducing myself..

Hi, i'm Huntress, and the newest journalist here at ACES.

To tell you a bit about myself, i have been in the l/s in rl for over ten years and in sl for 3. i am owned by my Master in both worlds. i have spent extensive time as a mentor and teacher in sl, and currently am the manager of Subs Haven, a subsidiary of the D/s Academy where we hold open classes and discussions for subs/slaves. i attend alot of discussions throughout sl daily, on a variety of topics, as i have an interest in the viewpoints of others within the lifestyle.

i will be posting here sometimes after attending a discussion, and other times to simply broach topics that i think are important to those in all positions, and yet find little or no information on them inworld.