Monday, June 6, 2011

ROFL..And Other Important Submissive Tasks

Whether it is being involved in a tickle fight in RL or a raspberry challenge :P online, being able to laugh and have fun with a Dominant is not just important, it is vital to the survival of the relationship. Believe it or not these games of tease and laughter are an important way for U/us to communicate as well as relax from intense times.

So much time in D/s is serous. From making sure we as submissives are following rules, to making sure we are representing our Dominant respectfully in public, we are constantly trying to behave. But we are human too. We have a need to laugh and play. The person we would love most to do this with (of course) is our Dominant. Why? Because when we can laugh and play, we are truly ourselves. We have a chance to show a side of silliness and complete ME-ness that can not always find a way out when we are being well behaved. More importantly, when the Dominant can let THEIR hair down, have fun and be silly..we get the honor of seeing the human side of Them. And the sharing of laughter helps to strengthen the bond between people.

And yet i still see some "Dominants" who come dangerously close to criticizing Master for those moments when sis and i are being "bratty". In fact, at the Castle, W/we have had to change the name of O/our discussion group,"Brat Pack", because sis was constantly having to defend it. Why? Why is it so bad for submissives to be truly happy and show it? The complaint seemed to be that it had "negative connotation and promoted bad behavior". The name of a group does not promote bad behavior. A submissive with no manners does. And if being happy and free as a submissive is a "negative" thing, i would never have become a submissive in the first place.

For one thing, it is not any ones place to criticize how a Dominant interacts with Their submissive unless it is outright and obviously abusive. Certainly speak up if a submissive is reduced to tears in the open. That submissive is not only not happy, but definitely not getting the true reward and joy of the lifestyle. They are being abused. But if a Dominant and submissive are having a fun exchange it is no ones place to criticize. T/they are celebrating T/their relationship. If this causes someone to be jealous then perhaps they need to work on their own relationships.

Secondly, any submissive who holds their Dominant in high regard and care would not be outright inappropriate. Master allows sis and i to have a degree of brattiness. In fact encourages it. Only when we are happy, relaxed and laughing is He certain all is well. He often tells His classes "when a submissive is quiet and subdued THAT is when I worry". But even when being "bratty" sis and i know where the lines are. W/we do not disrespect Him nor break His rules. And not one person who has met O/our family can say that sis and i have anything but love and adoration for Master. This is not by accident. W/we didn't just say one day "hey cool lets be a happy family". It had to be worked on step by step. Part of those steps was in laughter and play. Not sex play, just plain 'ol goofing around. Ever have someone make you laugh so hard that soda comes out your nose? THAT kind of fun. The three of U/us have found that when together W/we very easily share these moments and its these moments that have cemented U/us as family.

They also cement the bond in times of trouble too. Because W/we are so comfortable and able to just laugh together in good times, that bond holds up when there is trouble. There is something in sharing that happiness that brings the bond to E/eachother even closer. So when sis is having a bad day, i feel it. I know it when she speaks and it bothers me. I got to really love her infectious laugh so when its not there, i want to be there for her till the problem is solved and i have her laugh back. And of course the same goes for our bond with Master. W/we are both very keenly aware when Master is stressed and having a bad day. We may not say anything (after all it is Master's decision if He chooses to share what troubles Him), but we do notice and try very hard to find a way to get Him laughing. It calms Him and eases stress. And as every sub knows, a happy Dominant makes a happy sub!

Sharing jokes and teasing etc, also has another affect. It gives everyone a chance to let go and show sides of themselves they might otherwise not. When W/we allow ourselves to put aside "proper behvior" and be US as people, we tend to let down those protective bariers. When W/we laugh and joke together, and that side of us is accepted by eachother, we lose the need to feel so self protective/defensive. A submissive can show happiness and a Dominant can also show a relaxed sense of humor.

When prim and proper sis told a dirty joke, she showed a side of herself she never had. When Master laughed at it and shared one of His own, her need to be guarded in behavior was let go. She took the next step in truly being HERSELF because she realized she was just as loved and accepted (even more so) by Master. Now that she knows ALL of her is accepted, she behaves properly but without the effort of being worried all the time. Respect and love of Master because she knows SHE is loved and respected as a whole person makes being well behaved natural, not forced.

Keep in mind this does not mean she runs around now telling dirty jokes and being vulgar. That is not part of who she is. But she let go of the fear that if she let her humor show, she would be rejected or told she was not being proper. She learned Master had a sense of humor and did not require 100 percent perfection 100 percent of the time. And when it comes to my relationship with Master, part of why i fell so for Him was His sense of humor and ability to make me laugh. His own smile and laugh are now more precious to me then all the gold in the world. So when i see sis get that laugh going in Him, i cant express how happy that makes me.

The same goes for her relationship with me. Once she realized we could get each other to crack up, it became an important part of us as sisters. Now i cant go a day without my "sissy fix" even if it is during hard times. Just hearing her voice has an automatic affect on me and makes me smile. By sharing these sides of ourselves, we broke down the protective barrier between us and truly became sisters. We can just as easily share our fears and frustrations, troubles and secrets as we can a good hard guffaw.

My final Sub-Stance; the saying "the family that plays together, stays together" is not just cute mumbo jumbo. It is an absolute fact. It exceeds the boundaries of social and D/s and allows us to be what we are inside. Human. Once we have found comfort in being ourselves with each other, the ability to form natural family connection, as well as a much deeper connection to our Dominant is so much easier. So go ahead! Laugh it up! Enjoy the good times because they will carry you through the bad ones. And if anyone asks me why i like being a brat; because Master loves His brats!