Anyone that has been following my blogs already knows two key things about me:
1) I am an owned submissive
2) I have strong opinions and a big mouth!
For the record, i credit Master with both. Yes Master was the one who gave me the voice i have today. I had my opinionated self but He gave me more self assurance than i have ever known AND the ok to use it. I still make absolutely sure He reads each of these before i release them but i am no longer afraid of raining down some form of catastrophe by being strong worded or minded. Lately there has been mumbling in the D/s community about submissives being "too strong" and questions about strong subs being a "headache".
NOW..i have actually heard some "Dom" types insist that a submissive be seen and never heard except in scenes and only when told. They have said that a true submissive obeys everyone and every order and ALWAYS walks with a sense of shy servitude..... Seriously?
While it is every Dominants prerogative to run their House as they see fit, to control their submissives as they deem proper, it also tells a lot about what kind of person they are too. A Dominant who does not allow the submissive to think for them self gives the impression they themselves are uneducated. A Dominant who does not allow the submissive to have thoughts or ideas gives the impression they themselves are bland and ignorant. And a Dominant who does not teach the submissive self confidence and self reliance gives the impression they themselves are weak and spineless. Afraid that the submissive will learn and surpass them as an individual.
Master is strong, intelligent, and caring. These are, therefore, qualities He values and looks for. Now that i am collared, He makes it a point to teach and guide me in self confidence. He WANTS me to be strong and to be opinionated. He is not afraid of my having these qualities because He already has them AND He is not in competition with me. He owns me. He dictates my life. In His eyes my strength and confidence can only improve O/our bond. Can only strengthen what W/we are and will be together. I become a better submissive to Him because i share His core values and strengths. He has stated before that in His eyes a submissive without thought or voice is the same as a couch.
For those Dominants that like couches: What are you afraid of? What is it about having an intelligent and confidant submissive that gets you so upset? Are you afraid they may leave or try topping from the bottom? Well lets think about this. What message are you sending when you don't want them to be intelligent?..That you are weak. Submissives read this message and if you don't think they will use it against you, think again. You already told them you were weak. They simply have to find a way to top from the bottom that LOOKS submissive.
SO how is it that a Dominant can have and keep a strong submissive in line? How do they avoid having a mouthy unmannered tart but build confidence in the submissive? The key is the word "mannered". Here is the difference and how it works:
When i am out in public, whether it is in class at the castle or out in RL public, i try very hard to remember my manners. I don't have to be shy shrinking violet. I can look a person in the eye and smile. I can answer a question with self confidence and my head up. But i try to ALWAYS remember please, thank you, yes Sir and no Miss. FYI...Sir and Miss can be used in real life public with the vanilla world none the wiser. They are accepted forms of formal greeting to strangers just as they are here.
So submissives take note, you are not submitting to anyone by using these forms. You are showing a perfectly acceptable formal greeting in any language. Being polite should never be confused with submitting.
And that is where some Dominants get confused. Master wants me to be polite. To use my manners and be gracious. I represent not just the school or the sim but HIM. Even if W/we didn't have the sim, i would always represent the owner of my collar and THAT is more important. Point being Master wants the image of U/us to be that of propriety and dignity. It is what W/we believe in and therefore what He wishes to convey. It is NOT a form of me submitting to ANYONE. Dominants: a submissive being polite and warm is NOT flirting. Especially if they are owned. They are being polite. And until a submissive comes right out and said something suggestive, its NOT ok to assume you can order them around. Again..ESPECIALLY if they have a collar.
I will greet you. I will be polite, friendly, and respectful. I expect the same in return. As a collared submissive there is only ONE Dominant in my life. Only one i bow to and only one i submit to. The rest of you ...while i will respect you and be polite to you, while i will use proper etiquette...I see you as my equal. Only Master is above me. Only Master has the right to expect my submission. And as you are my equal i expect to be treated with the same dignity and respect. The moment you treat me as beneath you , threaten O/our family, or treat me as community property to be ordered around at your will..you WILL get my politely dignified boot. Why? Because YOU don't own me. Master does.
Yes, i am VERY loyal to Master. He has earned my deepest love and respect in both worlds. Couch Masters take note of this too: Would you rather have a submissive who bowed to everyone, took every order no matter what it was, and held no one as special? Or would you rather be the undisputed owner of that submissive? A community couch with no boundaries regardless of what you yourself believe (aka a buyable whore, sextoy) or a submissive who chose to bow to you willingly because they felt YOU were the one they could truly trust. A little hint to you; a submissive who has to take time to know you, earn your trust just as you earn theirs will take that collar more than seriously and be more than loyal because the bond has a meaning.
To recap: Don't mistake my manners and polite smile as submission or as weakness. EVER. I may have a soft voice but the moment Master, sissy, the family, home or myself are disrespected..i DO bite. AND i have permission.
What about uncollared submissives? Who owns them? THEY do. THEY have the ultimate decision over who they submit to. Yes uncollared submissive YOU are equal to EVERYONE until you put someone above you and kneel to them. And the moment some ignorant dumbdumb domdom orders you to kneel for them without even knowing your name..you too have the right to blow them a raspberry and walk away.
BUT keep in mind that this power makes YOU responsible for your own actions. If you choose to submit or do a scene, its YOUR responsibility. Period. No nonsense about "i cant say no". You are able to speak and type so you are not stupid. You are aware of what the word NO means and can use it. If you choose not to that's YOUR fault. Be responsible for you first. If you cant show some restraint, some self respect and dignity to YOURSELF you SURE wont be able to show it to a Dominant so you may as well just go home now.
Finally there is this bit about intelligence. I am a very educated, articulate woman who has a career and at 40 years old i have a few ideas and opinions too. I give these to Master because He RESPECTS them and encourages them. He is confidant and recognizes that my greatest happiness is to serve Him. Not compete with Him. I am considering taking scripting classes soon. Master and i both recognize the potential if i am able to learn scripting and come up with new ideas on creations.
So it is that a submissives intelligence can help the Dominant. What the submissive learns, as they grow...they can apply and make the bond with Dominant, make the household and family ...stronger and better for it. He challenges me and never takes my brain for granted. If i had been a couch, a brainless, mindless robot...He would not have given me a second glance. He needs me to be able to tie my own shoes.
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My final sub-stance on this: I am a strong submissive. I have intelligence, manners, respect and SELF respect. I don't OWE the world or you anything. Least of all submission. That i have already given to Master. He ALONE has the right. Be nice, be respectful and you and i will get along just fine ;)
