Wednesday, January 18, 2012

D/s Council of Inquisitions Formed (by Ryn and Meadow)

Our motto: “All we need to know is . . . where THEY are!”

In the Cult of the Duck (COTD)**, the safety and well-being of submissives is never far from our hearts. Eager to protect our community, we have benefited by the lessons of history and the paths of those who have gone before, and in a grand Old Tradition we introduce the justice arm of our organisation: the COTD D/s Council of Inquisitions. The Council’s motto is borrowed without permission from the ever-thoughtful Vasquez, of Aliens fame.

First we honor the Duck, Duckus Maximus, The One True Leader of our Cult. His titles within the Council: “Le Petite Inquisitore,” more formally “Le Inquisitore Canard,” or, in His most fearsome role, “Duckquemada.” Then to facilitators and sim owners in the Council we provide the title of “Inquisitore,” which tag must be worn during all official and unofficial questionings and spreadings of rumor. We reserve the title “Le Grande Inquisitore” for those few who can demonstrate extensive experience initiating and directing Witch Hunts. For the general public, we provide the more direct title of “Bloodsport Fan.”

Our reference in the Council of Inquisitions is the Duckeus Mallificarum. This venerable judicial handbook outlines the three elements necessary for predation: the presence of a Dominant, the implication of power exchange, and the dissatisfaction of a submissive. Based on the presence of these three elements, the Duckeus lays out how to disseminate accusations, encourage ostracizing behavior and even formally charge the guilty party while the Inquisitore skillfully avoids any personal consequence or the need for messy face to face confrontations.

The D/s Council of Inquisitions is standing by to provide inquisitions in the wake of YOUR relationship disappointments . . . or for those of friends, acquaintances or total strangers that you heard about at a random munch. Call at the first vague hint of displeasure, there is no need for proof or even that the accusation be plausible. Remember, there is One True Way to perform effective character assassination. Our anatidine Inquisitors have earned their Feathers. Don’t try your inquisition at home . . . call COTD, shiver as you watch our trained professionals whip friends, acquaintances and uninvolved bystanders into a blood-seeking frenzy!

**The Cult of the Duck was founded by Ryn Hax and Meadow Theas, and is The One True D/s Self-Mocking Cult. Unlike other, inferior cults, COTD does not rely on mocking from outside the organization, but provides mocking from within as our primary Cult activity. COTD was hatched in the nest of recent flaps regarding such hot topics as cults and witch hunts.