Friday, June 24, 2011

OMG!!..Todler Brow Waxing??!!

I had to share this. The other day we were experiencing some storms and possible tornadoes. I turned on the  news station at work that streams the warnings for our area and left it on while i sat doing some filing. One of the articles being shown was on those toddler fashion competitions so, of course, i had to watch. I was so shocked and disgusted i had to write this and make my case.

It seems toddler beauty pageants have stooped to an all time low. Not only was the three year old being interviewed dressed in ACTUAL daisy dukes and cut off belly shirt, but she was forced to endure BROW WAXING. Even I don't do that! A three year old?? Seriously??!! To top it off, she was learning dances for the competition that included hip thrusts and dubious poses that verged on child pornography in my mind.

And it doesn't take a genius to know what the message to this child is. You have to be waxed and half naked to be beautiful. Then stick her in a competition that pits her looks against other three year old. What do you think this baby is going to grow up believing? That the look counts. And you have to be the prettiest and sexiest to be a winner. Inner beauty or intelligence does not count. They were even spraying this child with skin tanner.

As adult women we are already inundated with this message. Magazines, commercials, infomercials...you name it. We are told daily we need to have the best hair, the best smile, the best skin and BE the best. Why? So we can get the most attention. Back to the vanilla basic: If you are not the best at all of this, you are replaceable and will lose the competition. In vanilla pudding world everything is about competition. Especially in relationships. Hence the emphasis on sex appeal. And since vanilla land only allows one partner/spouse we are constantly in competition with anyone who gets too close. Jealousy is trained into us. But lately it has reached epoch proportions.

At three years old i was out in the yard playing with my brother. At three years old, the only makeup i wore was at Halloween. Now they smear lipstick and eyeshadow on and spend hours rehearsing naughty poses. They pick out risque outfits and sashay down runways. One other girl in the article was actually being taught by her mother to pray to God for the right outfit. Nice message. If i lose the competition its Gods fault. And how do you think these three year olds are going to feel when they lose the competition? Yup, just like the rest of us. Losers. Not pretty enough or good enough. I am sorry but i think three is a little young to be forced into having a body complex. Definitely too young to start believing they can be replaced if they don't look sexy enough.

And then we wonder why so many teens and young adults these days are suffering eating disorders and bouts of severe depression. Suddenly teen suicide makes a whole lot of sense. After all, we already taught them they were not worth anything if they were not pretty enough to be prom queen. I am old enough to understand when i see a hair dye commercial that they are selling me an idea. And i don't have to buy into it. But when we talk about kids, they take all they learn in the earliest days from mom and dad. By the time they hit ten they will fully believe they can never stop being in competition with everyone else to be the prettiest. They will always fear being replaced and losing.

For those of us in the lifestyle, this is a direct link to why so many have problems with jealousy in a collar. It is not our place as submissives to question where the Dominant goes or who They speak to. That is Their decision. But because of training like this, more and more younger submissives are having worse jealousy issues. They are worried about being replaced. They are constantly in competition even online. And being a submissive is not about US. Its not about being the prettiest, not about having the right dress, or even how well waxed our brows are. It is about our devotion to our Dominant. It is about serving the Dominant. When we come into a collar feeling competitive with other submissives or people for the Dominants attention, we have already lost our true focus and thus lost our submission.

The worst thing these poor kids are going to grow up with is very low self esteem each time they lose a competition. This eventually will lead to the belief that even if the relationship is bad or abusive they have to live with it. After all, they arnt worth anything else.

I beg any parent that reads this not to do this to your child. Let your baby be a baby, not a mini adult with grown up emotional issues. Teach your daughters that being "the best" means being the best PERSON they can be. Show them the values of sharing, giving, loving. Let them know every day that they are special just for being them. That they are not replaceable because of their hair. Give them a sense of self worth and confidence so that when they go into a relationship later (ANY relationship) they make good choices. And if they happen to make a mistake, they have the confidence to let go of it and try again. Let them base their life on core values like honor and respect. Not jealousy and self loathing. Instead of competing with the girl next door, let her go out and play. Let her make a friend she may know the rest of her life because she had a chance to know the other girl. She was able to see this other child as just another child...a person. Not her replacement.

My final Sub-Stance: Its not OK to dress a baby up like a porn star and stick them in a competition with other babies. Its not OK to live vicariously through your three year old to win beauty pageants. Let them be themselves. Be kids. Let them grow up being confidant in who they are. And if that little girl grows to a teen who WANTS to join a beauty pageant, then support her personal choice. Just as long as she is always aware she does not have to win at being Miss America to be accepted as a person. And the friendships she makes can last a lifetime if they are based on truly caring for the other person, not their dress.

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