Sunday, March 7, 2010

Love in D/s Relationship a sub discussion at Timeless Desires

Love in a Dominant /submissive Relationship, a sub discussion given at Timeless Desires & D/s Institute was a wonderful discussion. Timeless Desires holds discussions on a regular basis and has a standing rule. During Dominant discussions subs are welcome to attend and listen but must remain quiet and not speak. The same hold for sub discussions, the Dominants must remain quiet and are not allowed to speak. this is a time for Dominants or subs to be able to speak freely within their group, with other subs, provide information, ask questions they may fear asking otherwise or may be concerned that their Dominant would not understand. It is also a time to allow Dominants to ask questions from other Dominants and get feedback, suggestions or ask for advice. I love the way that this is set up, I loved being able to participate and listen and it thrilled me that so many submissives were there and took part instead of being silent observers and being afraid to ask or speak up. When I first came to Second Life I didn't know how to bring my rl experiences with me or how to handle the virtual side of Dominance and submission. Something I have not spoken of before now. This discussion opened my eyes to somethings that I needed to see and hear. The first BDSM lecture I attended on SL was given by Kaddan Yue and as amazing as she was and as much as I learned what was spoken to me afterwards from another Mistress upset me and left me feeling as if I were an outcast and alone, as if there was no network I could turn to, as if subs all had a solitary existence. Miss Kaddan's Lecture was trying to dispel some myths and show that there is support for everyone, trying to give support for those who felt abused and trying to break stigmas and stereotypes. I found this to be true at Timeless Desires. Not only were there many subs just nearly as many Dominants in this discussion, the Dominants listened and I feel from the conversations afterwards that they also was able to take useful knowledge with them. I heard from more than one Dominant that they learned some very useful information and gained some insight that they had not thought of.
The sub discussion during was incredible many great questions were presented and many different answers, answers that were as unique as each individual and each couple. The discussion started off with the question Is love part of the natural progression of the D/s M/s relationship? Should it be? This question was presented by Lilith Tamas and from there things flowed naturally. We had two subs one I consider and call a friend and another sub I don't know, but before the end of the discussion they were dubbed "the twins," one would present a question or an answer and the other would say i was about to say the same thing or how is it you beat me to saying what i am thinking? It was too much fun listening to these two and seeing how people who had never met before relate on so very much a similar level. at one point during the discussion one sub said that she was confused by a particular topic and there was care given to make sure that her confusion was addressed and that she had the answers she needed. All of the questions that came about and were asked by the subs were addressed and answered completely. There was a feel of community, support, and unity. There was also a feeling of safety there, a feeling that there was no need to fear anything. Something that, I feel, is an important factor for all discussions that take place, especially those dealing with such intimate and private topics.
If you would like transcripts of this event or of their other discussions you may inquire at Timeless Desires. If you need more information on how to contact them let me know.

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