Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Simultaneous Seduction

The Simultaneous Seducer is one of the most frustrating problems we face in an SL relationship, and one of the easiest to become entrapped by. In real life, an extra-marital affair needs to be arranged with care and concern, a work of artistic subterfuge upon which the fate of nations (or, at least, a happy household) can balance. And even there, the dream of actually having sex with two different people, in two different places, at precisely the same time, remains just that – a dream.

Not in SL. A convenient alt to do the dirty, a convenient excuse for a few protracted absences, and even the hottest one on one scene can be doubled in no time. And nobody is any the wiser.

Until, of course, they are, in which case the recriminations, and the hurt, can only be amplified by any clumsiness that suddenly becomes apparent. Like the alt picking up a new lover under the nose of its partner, then happily “playing” in full view of the person they’re meant to be so devoted to. And if you think this sounds like personal experience…. It may be. Or it may not. I touched upon this subject in my last posting, but a handful of comments from readers… oddly delivered personally (maybe the comments box is too public?)… convinced me to look again at the subject and, in the spirit of women’s magazines the world over, offer up a handy checklist.

HAVING YOUR CAKE AND F*CKING IT TOO - TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOUR PARTNER IS A SERIAL CHEAT

1. The convenient excuses, of course… “oh gee, there goes the phone… brb” is always a good one, especially if the phone call goes on for a while.

2. Total submission… “I want to just lie here and relax… while you tell me what you’re doing to me. Oh, and really make it last.”

3. An uncharacteristic lack of creativity… let’s face it, a multiple orgasm is a great way to slip away for a while. AAAHHH… AAAAHHHH… AAAHHHH… gosh, some people can keep that up for hours.

4. A sudden interest in foursomes… “do you mind if my friend (the alt) comes over, and brings along her own friend too?” Followed by a lot of very unexpected silences.

5. “Oh sorry, I got distracted”… or, for variety’s sake, “oh sorry, I was just thinking.”

6. A new-found penchant for very late night housework or the like… “BRB, the microwave just dinged.” And will keep dinging, it seems, for the next 45 minutes

7. A brazen cheat will want to parade his or her subterfuge by actually allowing the alt to friend you. And have you ever noticed how your partner goes quiet (see 1-6 above) when your new friend logs on? Their partner has….

8. and following on from that… you can’t keep track of all your friends, all the time. But isn’t it strange how, whenever one goes away for a while… so does the other?

9. Forget all that… if you’ve read this far, you’re already suspicious. Cut your losses and run

10. please add your favorite giveaway here. And, while you're at it, ask your stinking love rat to tell us the ten reasons why s/he did it in the first place.

1 comment:

  1. Reeding this all seems to fit in alot of places but most of witch seem Unrealistic... but it is also true..I have seen this happen in may relationships for example... I know someone that is gay in sl but his attention span is your talking about a WWE match and he's off building...lol, wile your talking about it does this mean they are cheating? no just his attention span is so though the roof that wile he has sex he builds cause he gets board that easy.

    ReplyDelete