Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Why i Where a Collar
Labels are not my thing. I don't like being placed in a category, or compartmentalized by anyone and I extend the same courtesy to others. Observing without judgement is the highest form of human intelligence. It is difficult, if not impossible, to know someone's story by simply looking at them. I appreciate, however, that humans need labels to help them to communicate what they (believe) they understand about what they have seen, heard, or experienced.
I will admit, however, that before I involved myself in the lifestyle, I had all the misconceptions and steroetypes about others who were living it as the rest of the vanilla population. That never stopped me from being intrigued by it, however. I find intellectual development highly erotic and although I enjoy exploring things I don't understand, I am most drawn to things that I have strong reactions to. I viewed submissives as weak and having low self value. I ignorantly believed they were being abused, being beaten and *forced* to wear a collar and/or leash, to be humilated in public and referred to by anything other than their name.
When I first placed the collar around my neck, I can not explain the feeling it gave me. The process of *learning* to submit was a challenging one. I am a bit firey, however, my Master was tremendously patient, loving and consistent. I knew how much I needed him in my life early on; but being an independent minded professional woman, it was difficult to admit, even moreso to accept! Feeling the collar on my neck was beyond anything sexual, as many might generalize. It immediately gave me a sense of protection, care, and peace. The moment the shiny metal touched my neck,I knew that I could just "BE" that there would be no demands other than those of the Man who placed the collar there. That He would guide, protect and nurture me and for that I felt a tremendous amount of gratitude. The collar itself is more symbolic than anything else. Wearing it offers a constant reminder that I am under my Master's care. When the demands of my RL call upon me, the collar is my reminder and gives me pause and comfort. I can not speak to other's experiences with wearing collars, or leashes or any other thing that might suit their fancy. For me, the collar... the leash symbolize my commitment to serve my Master and His commitment to care for me. It is a symbol to others, that I belong to Him, always and in ALL ways. It more intensely relays the message to my mind, heart and all who are interested, that I love this Man, my Master... and NEED Him to guide O/our lives together. His willingess to serve as my King allows me the freedom to be a WOMAN...to be soft, but not stupid...to be adored, not abused... to be respected, not rejected and ignored for doing the things that feel most natural to me. Yes, I can pay my own bills, change my own tire, even raise our kids all by myself, but i NEED Him
Its as simple as that.